The secrets of being a GOOD STUDENT

Another year is moving along fast! How has it been going so far? Perhaps this time marks the very first year of study in New Zealand for you - ever...

I have been thinking some more about what makes "the successful student".

Let me share about "The Four F's".

The first "F" stands for the Facts!

The fact is that you are in a new and different country. There are different sights, smells, and tastes, not to mention language and customs. What is more . . . it is likely that you are not just an 'observer' or a short-term visitor or a tourist - you are here medium to longer-term and you must 'enter into' this new environment. You must actually 'operate' and 'perform' in this new place. You must live and study under new styles of teaching and learning and surroundings which sometimes feel foreign, because they are! Be kind to yourself. Be patient with your progress. Tell yourself, "I am pretty amazing really" - because you are!

The second "F" is for Feelings!

Feelings are real. Feelings are OK. They are normal. Feelings go up and down. Feelings come in positives and negatives, and all kinds in between! What is not normal is to feel happy and positive all the time, and what is not good is to feel negative and sad most of the time. Feelings need to be shared, not hidden. Feelings need to be talked about and "off-loaded". Find a few trusted friends that you can laugh with and cry with. Take some time to remember the facts, when your feelings are tossing and turning. Learn to say, "Today I feel . . . . . Tomorrow I will feel differently."

The third "F" is for Family!

Everyone has a family. No family is perfect. Families are different. Families come in many shapes and sizes. Your natural family is always going to be your family, whether they are near or far away. Most parents make a great number of sacrifices for their children. Some people feel a lot of love and support from their families. Other families are very strict and have high expectations. Most people feel very homesick when they are far away from their own family. Try to 'grow' a new family where you are. Perhaps your 'adopted' family will include some relations, or your "Kiwi" host family, or a special friend or a kind teacher. Think of the people you like in New Zealand, who like you and help you. Think of them as your new 'adopted' family, for now.

The fourth "F" is for Friends!

Friends are important. Friends are special. Everyone needs a few true friends. Good friends are loyal. They do not gossip, or betray you or talk behind your back. Real friends believe in you and help you. Watch out for 'fair-weather friends' - this means they will only be friendly to you if you are popular, rich, good-looking, or if you always do the things they ask you to do. Avoid this sort of person. Keep away from them. Say "No" to their suggestions. They are not really friends. Choose your few, trusted friends carefully and wisely, and ask yourself, "What kind of friend am I?"

Have a good rest of the year, and may the positive and worthwhile things in your life outweigh the negative and difficult things!

Kathryn Thorne

Director,

Alpha Educational Institute

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